Writin' Nerdy.

So, yeah.

As the title implies, I'm feeling kinda nerdy this morning- mostly due to the fact that I actually wrote an in-depth literary analysis of a video-game. Yes, you heard me correctly... a video-game.

(You're probably thinking, oh no, she didn't. But I did, and I still can't believe I went there).

For those of you not familiar with the game: Wizard101 is an all-ages RPG, in which wizards of all ages learn powerful spells and battle enemies (or each other, if PvP is your thing) in turn-based combat. If Harry Potter and Yu-Gi-Oh had a love-child, this would totally be it.

In the tutorial zone, you meet the game's primary bad-guy, Malistaire Drake- he's a former professor of the Ravenwood School of Magical Arts, who's trying to steal the Krokonomicon (which, in case it's not obvious, is the Necronomicon), in order to control life and death. Around level 12, the player learns that Malistaire's wife, Sylvia (also a former Ravenwood teacher), died of a nasty cold some years ago, and that the Krokonomicon is the only way he can bring her back to life.

(Not sure that's romantic or not, but hey... the sentiment is there, right?)

Unfortunately, the whole process involves awakening a rather-large and angry dragon, with potentially-disastrous results; the player then embarks on a series of quests, in order to recover the Krokonomicon and prevent the destruction of... well, everything. The arc culminates with Malistaire and the player(s) facing off in combat; upon defeat, he is reunited with Sylvia in death, and you receive a crap-ton of rewards from the Headmaster. Even if it didn't quite go as planned, all's well that ends well.

(Quite romantic, actually, if you're willing to ignore the whole angry-dragon-let's-kill-everyone thing. But I digress.)

After that, the Headmaster sends players to yet another new world, in pursuit of a new baddie... Her name is Morganthe, and she's this cool-looking goth chick with spiderweb wings and a closet to die for! Unfortunately, her character lacks any sort of personality or motivation thus far, which has drawn the ire of a number of players, as is implied in the comment below:

[name redacted] wrote:"Storyline is getting worse? I find this hard to believe. It's even the same as Malistaire: An evil Wizard wants to conquer/destroy Spiral. It's up to you, the Wizard, the Champion of Ravenwood, to put an end to their doings! You must battle them and their henchmen across many worlds before you reach them! But, do you have what it takes to best this mighty foe?"

Being the avid reader/writer that I am, I disagree... and here's why:

"Good vs. evil (world domination, especially) is one of the most cliché plot devices ever. It's been overdone, burnt to a crisp, and cooked for 15 minutes more, a zillion times; the premise is the same, but the difference between a great story and a just-okay one lies in characterization.


The Malistaire arc was extremely well-written, and so beautiful in its twistedness. He didn't want to take over the Spiral, so much as he wanted Sylvia back- that alone made him so much more than the average, cookie-cutter Disney villain; in fact, I hesitate to use the word villain at all, because I don't think he was one.


Grief and anger are selfish, and very human, emotions- the line between what's right and wrong becomes blurred, and the little details (the Dragon Titan destroying the Spiral) get lost in the big picture (bringing Sylvia back). So, while he thought he was doing the right thing, he wasn't completely aware of the consequences... and who doesn't have blinders on, when it comes to love? As a "reader", I was emotionally-invested in the story and the characters; like a brilliant novel, I didn't want it to end.


On the other hand, Morganthe is just an outline, a sketch of a character with the potential to be awesome, but who has failed to deliver thus far. I haven't bonded with her at all, because I don't know what her motivations are- why is she "evil", or is she? What are her reasons, for doing things the way she does? Right now, it's just a big guessing-game... and not in a good way."

(Fellow writers, take note- there is such a thing as leaving too much to the imagination).

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I may be reading (bad pun intended) too much into this. So I'm gonna go and play my game now... enjoy it for the fluff that it is,  and stop conducting literary analyses in the forums.

*slinks away and puts on wizard-hat*

Until death do us part (or not),
El Veeb

The Awkward Sex Scene: You're Doing It Wrong!

Hello, hi!

I'm fully aware that it it is after 6 o'clock in the morning; other obvious things include my gender, age, social-security number, and the fact that I should probably be sleeping. But never mind that- this post is about the lost art of awkward moments, particularly those of the (semi) erotic persuasion.

Before I start rattling off random things, I should probably mention that I'm no stranger to erotic fiction- in fact, my 2007 NaNo project was probably the raunchiest thing I've written to date, even more so than the poems that I wrote (which I won't post here, since my mother reads this blog) before I had any idea what I was doing. Here are two very important tips for avoiding (or embracing) those awkward moments:

1. Erotic scenes involving new or unfamiliar characters are (usually) quite awkward. 

In the novel's early days, I once tried to write a love-scene between M. (the emo genius) and his girlfriend. I remember cringing, staring awkwardly at the page, because I just couldn't picture him in that kind of scene, no matter how hard I tried! I got used to the idea, but not until years later, when I'd gained a better understanding of that character and his personality.

Writing such an emotionally-charged scene (especially with a new set of characters) is, in my opinion, akin to going on a blind date with some random person you've just met on the internet. In other words, you really don't know what to expect- it's hard to tell how much chemistry (if any) there will be between the two of you, whether or not you're well-suited to one another, or if there's any long-term potential... The first meeting will likely involve a lot of awkward pauses, stuttering, and uncertainty, and the same holds true for the writing process, especially if you're inexperienced or new to the genre, which brings me to my next point.

#2: Awkward moments are totally normal!

To this day, I still curse the silver screen. If you've ever watched a romantic movie, then you've probably noticed that the racy bits are very formulaic: virgin/inexperienced couple gets it on in the most-unlikely of circumstances, complete with symphonies, fireworks, and the almighty O... Hate to break it to you, but the hot-shot directors behind these films are setting you up for disappointment.

The writing process does not work this way.  Most of us fail to realize that real first times are rarely (if ever) that perfect, and it's nearly impossible to hit the ground running, sans awkwardness and first-time jitters, unless you know your characters- inside and out. It can be overwhelming, especially if this is your first foray into the erotic-fiction jungle; but, as with the real thing, the kinks usually work themselves out (bad pun intended).

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My point here is, you should own those awkward moments- enjoy them, make them yours, and let your imagination run wild, for you never know what ashes may rise from the dust... even if that dust is horrible and awkward, you'll probably find something in it worth keeping (don't quote me on that, lest you end up disappointed).

Uncomfortable writerly love always,
El Veeb.

Dancin' With Words, and Bad Techno-Romance: Parte Deux.

Ooh, finally!

I've been dying to get on here since Saturday afternoon, but d'you think that my laptop (a.k.a. The Firestarter) can stay connected to the 'net for more than 5 minutes? Not frickin' likely.

The 'pooter is on the fritz again- in fact, the BF has just informed me that he purchased it with a cracked motherboard. Way to go, Travis. Anyway, moving on to the fun part...

DANCIN' WITH WORDS!

Topics ranged in scale from the minuscule (syntax/sentence structure) to the ginormous ('what is the heart of your novel?'), and many laughs were had. We learned how to emulate our writing role-models (it's not considered cheating- there is a difference, you know), shared personal stories, poems, and even read the prep exercises we'd done beforehand; I'll be posting mine shortly, so pop on over to Allpoetry and sign up to let me know how I did. :)

Once again, I cannot even begin to describe what a wonderful teacher Donna is. I don't know if I'll ever be able to do what she does, since I imagine that having to listen to a bunch of writers who, while we don't suck, are nowhere near as gifted as she is must get a bit exhausting. Of course, it's possible for a good teacher to transform even the most-inept student into a prodigy, so there's hope for me yet!

She was also generous enough to pose for a photo-op, so that I can put her picture in the same space as Atwood and Harris. Sadly, with the 'pooter out of commish, I can't post it yet... I do, however, assure you that it will be up as soon as the desktop is up and running. Sometime before Christmas, I hope.

Until next time,
El Veeb.

PS: Hospital recitation date is tentatively set for October 31st. More on that, as details come in.

Sordid Tales of Aspiring Writerdom: The Redux.

This entire week has been a total waste of life.

Being sick has done nothing to help further my career. I've been meaning to do productive things, like join up with the WFNB (Writers' Federation of New Brunswick); instead, I've spent it curled up on the couch, either sleeping or drinking lots of tea whilst crying into my cough-suppressant- not a pretty picture, but I'm sure that every aspiring writer has done it.

Last night, I started rewriting my final draft. I just feel that there's so much of the story that hasn't been told; so many important details left out, due to the perspective/narrative style I'd chosen to use; and that some of my characters have so much more to offer than what I've given them time to say. Don't ask- they tell me what to do, rather than the other way around.

I haven't been checking my emails all that much, either- I think that a part of me has preemptively admitted defeat. That's the M. in me talking, though- my inner K. is kicking me in the ribs right now, pushing my buttons and telling me to quit being a whiny bitch; sorry, K.

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Now, back to sobbing into my Nyquil.